10 shortcuts to regaining respect in record time
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The little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
I don’t know if this sounds familiar to you. It certainly does to me, as I see these “blaming patterns” way too often. And blaming others, essentially, is a lack of personal responsibility. Like discipline, responsibility is one of those words you have probably heard so many times from authority figures that you’ve developed a bit of an allergy to it. But, it’s one of the most important things to grow, and builds the foundation of your personal and professional development.
Sometimes, especially when we’re young, we don’t always see the long-term effects of our behaviour, but accepting responsibility is a major factor in receiving the respect and admiration of those around you. When you take 100% responsibility for your actions and inactions, and hold yourself accountable for things that happen (or not) in your professional and personal life, you have choices available to you. Success comes down to how much choice you believe you have in life, and therefore the power you have to cause things to happen at work or at home, rather than blaming others for where you are right now.
One of our biggest problems is that we don’t like to fail and, more importantly, we don’t like to be seen to fail. The problem with that train of thought, however, is that we then tend to set ourselves a goal but at the same time we create an excuse to keep as a ‘spare card’ we can use so that if we don’t succeed, we can blame something or somebody else. However, the more personal responsibility you take, the more in control you are and the more control you have, the more likely you will reach your goal as there will be no excuses to fall back on if you fail.
The knowledge that you are 100% responsible for the results in your life gives you more choices and possibilities. It is about acknowledging that the buck stops with you, so that you do not give away your power to somebody or something else. It is about stepping up. It is about taking responsibility regardless of who else is ultimately responsible, which is true leadership.
Here are 10 shortcuts to taking 100% personal responsibility and thus earn the respect from those around you:
- Stop blaming. When you stop pointing the finger at other people of situations, you have control over yourself.
- Be accountable. If your children are feisty, your partner unreasonable, your co-workers unbearable, you are always responsible for how you respond. Your behaviour is in your control.
- Be understanding and open. Start to recognise and accept other people rather than jumping to quick conclusions that are based purely on their behaviours.
- Focus on solutions. Shift your attention to HOW and WHAT, rather than wasting time with problems and WHY questions.
- Results instead of excuses. You can’t have both. Acknowledge when you messed up. A simple “Yes, I forgot to call when I said I would” eliminates the need to make up excuses and enables everybody to move on. Your integrity will earn respect and lead to quicker results.
- Be the hero, not the victim. People who don’t take responsibility for their own behaviour are perpetual victims. Highlight the positive, and move through your day with positive attitude. This small shift in focus from what went wrong to what went right turns a victim into a hero.
- There is no failure, only feedback. Acknowledge both your weaknesses and strengths. A responsible person has a complete picture of who they are, and continues to grow and improve.
- Know your WHY. Gain clarity on what your ultimate goals in life are, in order to avoid vagueness and confusion. This will boost your motivation to stay in control of your behaviour and stick to the path.
- Action instead of procrastination. Take the word “try” out of your language. There is no trying - you do it and give it your full focus, or you don’t. Either is fine and entirely your decision, but recognise there is no trying involved. Have you ever tried to pee? No, you’ve either peed or you haven’t.
- Mind your language. Use “I choose”, “I can” and “I desire” rather than “I must”, “I want”, “I need”, “I should”, I shouldn’t”. There is no dependence, only empowerment in “I choose” or “I can”.
Once you truly grasp and implement these 10 powerful shortcuts, you are no longer hiding - you are taking full responsibility for your actions and outcomes. You are calling the shots. It is up to you to create this change, and you must believe that you can (and must) create the transformation right now. It is not an option to go back.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
“Dare to make a difference!”
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